this is just a real quickie blog, inasmuch as that i have a two-page paper on ornette coleman due tomorrow morning, and i have just started it (it was assigned yesterday).  honestly, i can't spare the time to blog, but - ah well.

i was sitting in the coffee shop today when travis called.  it was from his work, and so i couldn't figure out who was calling me when i looked at caller id.  it's a good thing i know his voice, because he never identifies himself, just says "hey."  but anyway, he wanted to know if i wanted to go to his company's christmas party on the 7^th.  of course i did!  so yeah - that out to be interesting, considering i'll know very few people there.  i'll know travis, obviously, and gio... and i've seen two other people that work there that come to the store almost every night.  still, i'm pretty excited about this!  i'd invite him to our company christmas party, but a) i'm not going and b) i don't know if we can invite any guests or not.

the weekend was a lot of fun; i spent a ton of time with travis, actually.  saturday, he picked me up, and we went out to dinner and then we went to the play at the college.  it was a lot better than i was expecting it to be.  i think he enjoyed it more than i, though.  afterwards, we ran to the car, it was so cold out (neither of us were wearing jackets).  sitting in the car, he turned to me and said "coffee?"  so we stopped at the gas station and got some weird "mocha cappachino".  whatever that is, considering that in reality those are two different things.  afterwards, we made a stop at target, so he could pick up some tagboard.  that took us a bit, because we got distracted by a box of crayons and such.  we came back into town at ten, and i invited him inside.  he seemed pretty excited by the national geographic magazines we had lying around.  plus, he loved bella kitty, and he wore her out playing with her.  he ended up finally leaving at 11:30, but it was fun.  sunday, i went over to his house to watch a movie.  i didn't leave `til midnight.  good thing he lives only 10 minutes away.

whoa, wednesday was so much fun!  work, of course, was work.  however, it's tolerable because i know i'll be able to talk to travis later that night.  and actually, he was in there for about 45 minutes wednesday night.  he got off early, and somehow put all his breaks together and took it at the end of his shift.  so anyway, it was incredibly dead when he was in, so it was that much easier to just stand and talk.  (since it's been a few days, it's a bit hard to condense it into an interesting blog now.)  anyway, except for the occasional customer, we talked the entire time and sometimes glanced at the raging fire a couple businesses down.  i guess it was a controlled fire, one that the fire department was using for practice, oder etwas.  all four or so customers commented on it.  but i digress, as usual.  so, we were talking about... i don't know.  something about how michelle wants him to join choir.  or at least try out.  i think he should; who knows, maybe he has a great voice!  something about daniel (of savage garden) was wearing some pants that travis wanted.  i believe that the exact expression he used to describe the outfit was "walking happiness".  however, he couldn't figure out what the material was.  i told him that i wanted to see those pants, maybe i could figure out what they were made out of.  he's like, "i could send you a screenshot... or you could come over if you want."  but of course i'd want to come over!  one problem:  i didn't know what time i got off work.  and then donna walked up front and said, "travis, go home."  walking out the door, he mouthed "i have to go."  after he left, i was a bit disappointed.  i did want to go over to his house, after all.  the next 40 minutes or so passed rather uneventfully.  finally, 20 minutes before closing, donna let me off.  after punching out, i slowly walked to my car at the end of the parking lot.  getting closer, i noticed there was a car right next to mine, a car that looked like travis' car.  getting closer to my chevy, i saw that it was indeed travis in the driver's side.  grinning, i tapped on the window.  when he opened the door, i asked, "how long have you been here?"  he answered, "ever since donna told me to go home."  we stood talking out in the snow for about 15 minutes or so.  maybe less, i'm not sure.  i told him that donna would be mad if she saw us, because she gets irritated if one of us is still in the parking lot on days when we get off early.  a minute after that was out of my mouth, guess who walks outside?  travis and i looked at each other and laughed.  right.  this is getting a bit long, so let me condense it even more.  we got in his car and went to his house (i think he lives pretty close to megan...).

so we got to his house and went downstairs to his room (i think i saw his dad sleeping on a couch a few rooms over).  it's a nice room, with blue lights that create an amazing blue haze.  we sat there for a little while, while he chatted with some of his friends on icq, i believe, and we drank this bizarre energy drink... it has a caffeine warning on the side.  but, man, was it good!  afterwards, we went into a little living room that was by his room, where he watched savage garden in concert or something to that effect.  and, of course, we talked pretty much all the way through it.  it's amazing how comfortable i am with him, considering how long i've actually known him.  all right, this is getting too long... midnight came, and i had to be home.  i was so wired by then, because of that drink.  my hands were shaking so hard, i couldn't even tie my shoes.  i ended up tying one, and skipping the other one.  but yeah, all in all it was a great night.  even though i got very little sleep that night.

i can't wait for tomorrow, to go see the play.  well, i'm not looking forward to the play itself, but going out with travis will be fun.  but i'm dreading monday.  donna came into the coffee shop today and asked if ivan had talked to me yet.  about what, i wondered aloud.  something about a check... something definatly not happy... ugh.

by the way, the above title is a line from the chorus of "unwell" by matchbox twenty, off the new album more than you think you are.

we just attract the dregs of society
12:53 PM 11/20/02

work is a never-ending soap opera... or sitcom, on a good day.  monday afternoon i walked in to work.  as i went to punch in, i saw two people i didn't know in our blue work shirts.  i walked back up front, and asked barb about the two.  well, they're the new employees.  while barb was speaking, i was looking around for spencer, the bagger.  normally he greets me when i get there.  he won't be anymore, though.  he quit about an hour before i got to work.  what happened was, he was throwing some woman's bread around and she complained.  so, the intelligent young man flicked her off with both hands and stormed out the door, yelling "i quit!" with a few expletives added.  and then there is one of our cashiers.  i don't know how they caught her, but she stole credit cards (or credit card numbers, i'm not real sure) and racked up $4500 worth of charges.  that, and she stole $300 worth of lottery tickets, in a one-month time frame, too.
the manager seems so confused by this.  he doesn't understand how we get these kind of people.  really, it's not that hard to figure out.  i mean, half the time there are no interviews.  case in point:  the new cashier came in with her boyfriend, who was applying for a bagger/stocker job.  the manager noticed her, and said, "we're looking for a cashier.  do you want a job?  good, when can you start?"
our store has an insane turnover rate.  then again, this is exactly because we hire 14 year old boys, drop-outs, druggies, ...and a prisoner.  he couldn't come into work anymore because bail was denied.  we've had bling bling, who hid in the bathroom to steal from the tills, southern ben who was just violent, josh who always put eggs and bread at the bottom of the bag, kelli who went ballistic and chased a customer out of the store to swear at her, shelly who threw spitballs, spencer, and jordon.  phil who juggled knives (and is now a knife salesman) and had to be rushed to the e.r. one night, jenni and erik who wear halloween masks and cavort around the store.  there's ben, who doesn't understand the meaning of "personal space", and who only just recently quit asking me if i had a boyfriend, and why don't i, am i waiting, do i want kids, do i want to get married, do i have a boyfriend?  and only recently has he quit telling me every night that he has a girlfriend.  then there was josh, who followed me around at work (and at school, where he would prostrate himself upon the art table, much to my horror and dismay).  why is it that all my co-workers are vaguely disturbing to some degree or another?

pasta and cheesecake
12:38 PM 11/16/02

last night was so much fun!  the six of us (megan, jim, lindsey, ryan, steph, and i) all decided to go out to eat.  first, megan, jim, and i ran to applebees to see how busy it was.  there was going to be a 30-minute wait, so we called the others to let them know that instead we would be going to green mill.  only one or two of us had eaten there before, and none of us have ever gone together there.  the six of us finally got seated at a table, and all but one or two of us got pasta.  ryan got the chicken fettuchini alfredo, and i ordered fettuchini alfredo.  after the one-armed waiter left, he turned to me: "did you get the chicken?"  "no."  "why not?"  the whole table started to laugh.  steph volunteered, "she's a vegetarian!"  ryan was stunned.  "since when?"  he asked.  "we've already discussed this!"  i told him.  "no, we didn't."  "yes, we did.  last time all of us went out to eat.  at applebees."  "i never went out to eat with you to applebees."  "yes, you did!  remember?  you asked if i didn't eat anything with a face, or just eyes!"  he finally conceded, saying he sort of remembered.
leaving, megan and steph put their arms around each other.  behind them, i joked, "i feel left out."  to my left, i heard jim say "me too."  then i felt his arm go around me.  megan turned around and laughed, "stop molesting phoenix!"  so then she grabbed me, and jim grabbed steph.  only ryan and lindsey weren't getting on the action.
ryan announced that he had to go the bathroom, so all of us trekked over there.  after a few minutes, we girls were wondering where the boys had gone.  so after looking in the hall, and in the front of the restaurant, megan dialed jim's cell and asked, "are you still in the bathroom?"  no, actually, they were outside.  when we finally left (megan/me/jim in jim's jeep, ryan/steph/lindsey in lindsey's saturn) megan said she really wanted cheesecake.  so, the three of us ran to perkins.  walking inside, one of them asked me, "do you want cheesecake, phoenix tx?"  i said okay.  jim laughed, "you're so agreeable, phoenix!"  megan agreed.  but anyway, we ran inside and each of us got a slice of cheesecake.  and it was good.

monday, i have to remember to ask travis about the play.  we're going sometime next weekend, but i'm not sure what day.  plus, megan (and jim) want to double-date with us on that.  i think that'd be fun... hopefully travis agrees.

yet another day in the life
1:34 PM 11/13/02

my hearing has failed me.
i used to have amazing hearing, well okay, not amazing but still better than average.  then yesterday i was sitting in the coffee shop listening to an elton john tune on the radio.  i asked, "what the heck does 'legendelity' mean?  that's not a word, is it?"  the three of them stared at me for a moment, then one commented, "it's not legendelity; it's legend ever will."

last night, due to some fluke timing, i ran into him at the store last night.   he looked surprised to see me (or perhaps it was just my wet hair, who knows).  but we got to talking, and angie too.  that's when she asked me perhaps the most controversial question there is:  pro-choice or pro-life?  honestly, i'm against abortion and i said as much.  then came the next question.  what if the baby was to be born deaf, blind, with half a brain, one arm, one leg... (you get the idea).  after some deliberation, i said that i guess abortion... but then added, "but that's purely hypothetical.  the chance of that happening is pretty much nil."  which it is, that's maybe one in how many billions?  abortion should be illegal, though.  they say what about a woman's right to decide about her body?  at this point, it isn't just you.  there is another life, and that life needs consideration.  one should not kill another being because one feels that it is inconvienent.  how about teen mothers, victims of rape?  i still say carry the baby full-term.  if you don't want it, give it up for adoption.  and if you're having unprotected sex, you might get pregnant!  it's really not that hard to figure out.  if you don't want to risk pregnancy, don't have sex.

raspberry orange juice
2:08 PM 11/9/02

every time i go out to eat, it seems, i go out to perkins.  and this time it wasn't even my idea, for that matter.  but it turns out we both frequent perkins - both of us usually at night, never for lunch.  not until friday did i ever have lunch there...

i had just gotten in my car and started the engine.  when i looked up to pull out of my parking spot, i noticed a car was blocking my path.  i was vaguely irritated until i noticed who was getting out of the car.  curious, i put my car back into park and rolled down my window.  he leaned over and inquired what i was doing... oh?  just going home?  do you have time?  do you want to go to perkins?  "all right."  and so we did.

when i arrived, i got out and looked around for his car.  seeing him standing in the parking lot, i walked over.  his car door was open, and the song playing was "crush (1980 me)" by darren hayes.  we walked to the restaurant, where he held the door open for me.  seated in a booth, a peppy waitress inquired what we desired to drink.  "raspberry iced tea" i ordered.  "ohh, that sounds good..."  he thought for a sec, then "can i get a raspberry orange juice?"  but of course.  after the waitress left, i asked him about that.  he told me that what i ordered sounded good, but he always got orange juice, so...

i don't even really recall when we talked about.  one thing we did discuss was music... he was amazed that i had darren hayes' album, spin.  he commented, "i didn't think anyone around here even knew who he was!"  amazing - a guy that likes darren hayes, savage garden, no doubt, natalie imbruglia...

so, let me get this straight
paul is dead
1:24 PM 10/25/02

minnesota's senior senator, paul wellstone, 58, perished in a plane crash in eveleth, mn.  seven other people aboard, including his wife sheila, daughter marcia, three staff members, and two pilots, also died.  contact with the plane was lost at 10:20 a.m., central time.

before, the whole nation had been watching minnesota because of the close race between wellstone and coleman (wellstone had been ahead six points) in the race for the senate.  now, sadly, the nation is watching us for another reason.

so what happens now?  ventura can appoint someone to the senate.  but then what happens?  does coleman become senator by default, as there is no one else running?

more information: cnn | u.s. senator paul wellstone

i'm a poet and don't know iti may be many things, but graceful i am not.  i spilled chai all over my right thigh.  hey, that rhymes.
6:48 PM 10/15/02

take me back i wish i could go back to london.  i want to get on a plane, go where no one knows me.  i want to become someone else, living in a magical, dreamy, city.  i crave culture, i crave change.  i'm even willing to go back and view urinals-as-art.  i want to ride the underground again, i want to get off the escalator and hear that man playing guitar and singing "man in the moon" by r.e.m.  i want to walk the streets of london and not feel like a bewildered and bedazzled smalltown girl.  i want to live life to the fullest, in a city that sponsors intellectuals and artists and tea-and-coffee-houses and pubs and museums and theatres.
4:29 PM 10/11/02

the bitter, bitter irony there's just something... ironic... about this.
(i wish i could come up with some good political rant.  le sigh.)
4:01 PM 10/11/02

the anti-helpfuls
first off, scientists have discovered a new planet/astroid/thing they named "Quaoar".  i think i need to be reading the paper a bit more closely to have missed that; ah well.  kudos to james lilek's "backfence" article to set me straight on interplanetary affairs.
anyway.  i've been attempting to get all my colleges and high schools transcripts together to send off to yet another college.  i finally scraped together the sheets for getting transcripts from two colleges and got those sent off.  i still don't fully understand the point of paying for transcripts.  i mean, you shell out all that money and then when you go somewhere else, you have to pay five bucks just to get records?  but i digress.  then it was off to go find the forms for the current college i'm at.  i was really dreading that... those people are anti-helpful.  at one point, i had a question about something.  i don't remember the question, but it's not pertinent anyway.  first i went and asked information.  they had not a clue.  bounced me off to admissions, who didn't know.  there they sent me to the business office, where the girl stared at me with a rather blank look on her face for an awkward, immensly long, period of agonizing minutes.  then i was finally helped.  but i got my transfer paper without any hassle today, as the it was posted on the wall.  how's that for friendly service, eh?  same with registration.  there's no face-to-face contact; there's just computers set up right outside the "registration" area, with a person sitting behind a desk, surrounded by: more computers!  why, i'm not sure.
but i digress again.  so after that, i had to drive over to the high school, and find the counselor.  she, too, is anti-helpful.  i even drove over there when i knew she should be there, and not on her two-hour lunch break.  was she there?  no.  now, this is no big deal, but i was disgruntled.  that woman is so hard to catch and so hard to deal with.  she always has angry parents in her office; i almost feel sorry for that woman.  so an hour later i drove back, and she still wasn't there.  however, some random woman was, and i dropped my transcript request off with her.  hopefully all goes well.  she seemed slightly confused.
3:41 PM 10/11/02

ho ho ho and a hidden revolver
i've always thought work would make a good sitcom. at times, it is just so laughably bizarre. though there are soap-operaish moments, taken in it's entirety, it's just not serious enough. but this would be a highbrow sitcom: no stupid, phony laugh-tracks...
a while ago at work, some guy, around college age, was talking to megan and me. he was explaining how he almost got into a fight - "... but i wasn't worried. i had this!" and he pulled up his shirt. the first thing i noticed were the faded red boxers that joyfully proclaimed Ho Ho Ho! but then my eyes saw the glint of the gun. he was carrying a concealed weapon.  he's come in more since then.  one time he told us he was carrying two guns.  how do you fit two in there?  that's what i want to know...
i'm in charge of supper tonight.  do you have any idea how hard it is to find good vegetarian meals out there?  especially vegmeals that would appeal to a 50-year-old meat eating male?  i am so craving a cherry soymilk mocha right now.  it's better than it sounds.
you know something is not quite right when you find yourself rooting for the don.  i was watching law and order, i believe, and the don got shot.  man, i felt bad.  he was my second-favorite character!  and he was italian!  but then, i also rooted for the australian bad guy (fantabulous accent!) until he tried to kill someone.   ah well...
frankly, i am quite disturbed by this birthday card.  clipping wings of joy...
3:10 PM 10/9/02

so, uh... yeah
well.  i get up thinking, yay!  i'm going to write a david-sedaris-worthy blog today, and you know what?  that never happens.  phoenix is just too... well, my brain is just plain fried from way too many turtles.  by which i mean the highly-sugared coffee drink, not actual moving turtles of the amphibian variety.
for your (actually, my) random entertainment: a dilbert cartoon that reminds me exactly how i feel after every single night at work.  click.
phil stopped in at work yesterday and decided to tell megan and i about the goulash that he ate for supper.  why he decided to share that pertinent bit of info with us, i shall never know.  but i digress.  there was beef in it, which he said megan would hate.  chuckling as he turned to face me, he said "and phoenix definatly wouldn't like it.  it had beef and cheese in it."  "i eat cheese."  phil regarded me with a rather blank look, "but you're a vegetarian..." megan, from behind her till, spoke up.  "cheese doesn't have a face!" ^{[explanation]}  but anyway, i tried to convince phil of the difference between vegan (which i'm not) and vegetarian (which i am), to no avail. but then, i'm sure he knows.  phil knows everything.
megan plans on bringing sushi into work.  that outta be interesting, eh?
2:25 PM 10/4/02

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