there is something strangely appealing about a band with the name the naked sams.  and not only is the name good, but so is their music, actually.  i recommend it... now if only i could find their cd.  i have decided that is my new mission in life; find "nozzle" by the naked sams.

i feel like buying clothes right now; summer clothes, to be precise.  i think i just can't wait until this semester is over.  then i can finally graduate and . . . stay here.  i used to have nothing but contempt for those that lived with their parents while going to college.  and now i'm going to be doing what i've always loathed, for about a year or so.  oh, the bitter, bitter irony.

i didn't know sarah and her boyfriend were building a house...  huh.  i wonder how much that is costing them?

i actually don't have a whole lot to say, or, if i do, my mind is suppressing (repressing?) it.

i should be doing my homework right now, but screw it.  apathy:  1, work output:  0.  the problem is i just don't care anymore about school.  on some level, somehow, you need to care somewhat.  i am in lacking of the necessary level to care.  the seniors had open lunch today, and so i ran down to the coffee shop.  i got back to school late, but i honestly didn't care.  neither did i get marked tardy (which might have made me care), but that's beside the point.

i should be typing up a resume right now, but . . . this is vaguely more interesting.  oder etwas.  but c'mon!  a resume in high school?  gah.  plus an application . . . but i'll just fill out the applicatio to the other college that i'm going to go to and make a copy for that class, too.

i guess michelle is getting married.  so that makes what, two marriages and eleven pregnancies for my grade, now?  that tally seems just a bit high.

i almost hit a car...and i did fall out of my car.  but onto more vaguely interesting topics.  it's been a long few days, what with school and everything.  it's taking getting used to again.  before i got back, i thought, "i want to see these people again before i graduate."  i now realize i was wrong, dead wrong.  i don't ever want to see these people ever again.  i had forgotten how immature high school students really can be.

though one class has a weird appeal.  the teacher is relaxed, and she and the whole class just talk about whatever.  we veered from one topic to the next, ranging from casinos to the pros and cons of legalizing prostitution.  and how to write an impressive resume.  but that's boring.

there is just something inherantly horrible about high school.  i went back today, and i now learned why it was that i didn't go last semester.  i honestly want to cry, it is so painfully stupid.  i'm just upset right now, methinks.  i don't like the classes, and it's a bit amazing how immature everyone is.  i want to go back to college now.

speaking of, i think i'm going to change colleges; go back to the one i just left.  it's a lot cheaper, and at the very least i can get my generals done there.  not to mention that i'll be closer to travis... ahem.

i don't want to go back tomorrow.  it's gonna be a very long four months . . .

not every girl can frighten her boyfriend's friends.  i sent travis an email about work, and one line of the email read: "if he wouldn't always tell me i'm angry, i think i'd get along better with him.  but it's okay; i have yet to feel the urge to weed him out!"  travis got a kick out of that, and showed one of his friends at work that, while mentioning that he probably shouldn't let me read the book he is currently reading (the rise and fall of the third reich).  his friend replied, "i think you need to get out of the relationship while you still can!"

there is just something vaguely humourous about a guy shopping/spending more than a girl.  especially when it's not on electronics, or food, oder etwas.  granted, i outspent him, but that was only because i had to buy a hundred-dollar graphing calculator.  he got to buy fun stuff, like books and clothes... and some food.

we were looking at some of the guy's clothing at maurices, when he saw this... vest-thing.  turning to me, he said, "i like that."  i just cocked my eyebrows and looked at him, not speaking.  he then continued:  "nope, nope, i was lying.  i see that now."  actions truly do speak louder than words - especially when it comes to convincing someone that he doesn't really want something.

i saved part of the chat between travis and i last night, simply because it was hilarious... you can definately tell the difference between the two genders when it comes to violence... here's parts of the conversation:

< r4in > Run over to his house.. parade into his room.. punch him in the face and drag him outside..
< phoenix > i don't think punching him would be the best idea - the rest, okay. but no punching.
< r4in > PUNCH!
< phoenix > no punch
< r4in > Right in the face..
< r4in > THWAP!
...
< r4in > So.. I will just write songs, and sing other peoples songs for 4 months.. then sing my own stuff..... after punching nate in the face. =D
...
< r4in > Run over to nates, hit him with the bat.. 'Nate, get up! We have an album to produce.'
< r4in > See the bat adds an additional flavor to the story..
< r4in > I could just wake him up.. but that is boring....
< r4in > Now if you just run in and waffle him with the bat.. you have action, drama, excitement.. meaning!
< phoenix > and lots of good, old-fashioned violence
< r4in > You aren't looking at it from the right point of view... Don't look at it as violence... look at it as some slight ruckus.... =D

i guess it only makes sense that this is the from the same guy that views bond movies as chick flicks...

i am slowly going out of my mind, i am so bored.  and my stomach hurts.  note to self:  never consume half a pizza, just because the mind is bored, especially if the body is not hungry.  harf.

yay for me for figuring out how to ftp on internet explorer.  i actually didn't really learn - i watched travis last night and attempted to do something similar w/ this site.  and i got it, amazingly enough.

i bought out all of the chai at work.  am i just odd that way, oder etwas?  because now i even have donna and fran teasing me about that "disgusting" drink.  then again, perhaps they just did that because of my comment on pork roast...

i should really work on another song.  i have a couple of lines that i could throw into something.  i really should; i need to seriously improve that.  bah, when you're not bitter anymore, than throws a major wrench into songwriting.

let's see if i can take up an entire window of sheer, unadulterated babbling, shall we?  i'm doing pretty well so far.

i can't imagine writing a verse like this (from "warning" by incubus"):

i was surfing a-z lyrics when i came across "when you say you love me" by darren hayes.  i never heard of the song before, and so read over the lyrics.  the song really took me by surprise - i want to hear it now, because the lyrics really hit me hard.  it's something that i want to say... oder etwas... i don't know, check out the lyrics here.

i got a whole three hours of sleep last night.  yay for that... anyway, i'm not fully coherant right now.  yay for bawls; travis brought over some last night and already i have seven lined up next to my computer.

lately i've been all about buying furniture and i don't know why.  whoo, work tonight; how indescribingly thrilling.  oder etwas.

time for a new layout, i'm bored with this one already.

with travis now writing, that's spurred me to go on and attempt to improve my songwriting.  because, well, let's face it, it hasn't been improving.  but i wrote a song last night / this morning entitled "cliche" and i really like it.  it's honest, and it's me.

i want to attempt to stay up for 36 hours straight.  this is going to be difficult, if only because of the sheer boredom involved.  after about 2 a.m., what's there to do?  but i only have 10 more days of vacation left, so i want to do this.

we were talking about how to change the coffee shop, and got around to talking about how he would do a coffee shop.  think rope lights and lava lamps, a techno coffee shop.  and in the back, a little side room, with a smoke machine (a room set aside especially for the gamers).  speaking of techno, i'm now in the mood to listen to moby.  too bad i don't have any of his cds . . .

anyway.  if you look over to the right there's a beautiful rose i got from travis today.  i'm thrilled; it's the first flower i've gotten from anyone (barring relatives), and besides that point, it's from him.  so it makes it that much better.  and i'm babbling.  but that's okay, i'm just in a really good mood right now.

i was thinking about the point of a blog again today.  there's so much narcissism involved, really.  perhaps that's why they are so popular; people are just narcissists.  whatever.  bloggers are just their own unique sub-culture.

bah for hostway
10:50 AM 1/9/2003

bah, hostway ate my site last night.  it uploaded fine, and when i checked it the first time it was fine.  then i checked up on it a few hours later and - wham - the site was gone.  hostway must be down, because i can't even access the ftp.

let flow the creative juices
11:20 PM 1/7/2003

i have a weird problem i think:  i either shelter my emotions, or i bare too much at once.  there's a happy medium in there somewhere, but i seem to have trouble locating it.  woe is phoenix.

"people tell me that i feel too much".  how true.  i care too much, too.  hrm, wouldn't that surprise some people?

it's been a weird day; i blame it on the two chais i had.  caffeine is always a good excuse.  and they do not smell like potpourri.  but i digress.  maybe it's because i was woken up by my cell phone?  naw, i got plenty of sleep.  perhaps it's just one of those days.  it was a good day though:  went out to brunch, then coffee shop... cleaned, back to the coffee shop... so goes my life.

travis wrote a good song, which he grandly deigned to show to me.  i'm going to post a line or two, and hope that he doesn't hurt me for it later on . . . so here's the chorus:

accompanied with you, a passing moment lingers
why could i not see beauty sooner, so as to see you
wonderful things you say, remind me of a sky once grey

speaking of songs, i wrote another one today.  i do believe it is #17 under "scrawled".  i don't even remember the title of the song... let me see... ah, yes, "set in motion".

all by my lonesome
10:39 PM 1/6/2003

i don't need to take anger management classes.  and i'm not mad at the world, no matter what josh says.  val, marj, and travis agree with me.  so yay.

i don't know what to do with myself.  travis starts classes tomorrow, and everyone else is already back in class.  how do i kill two weeks without anyone?  granted, i can always do something at night after travis is off work, or people are out of class, or whatever.  still - what do i do during the day?

walking in a winter wonder LAN
8:12 PM 1/3/2003

kyle, andy, and jake seemed surprised to see me at the LAN.  then again, i can't blame them, i guess.  who'd have thought that i would be there?  jake asked me where my computer was, as did jon and andy.  i wasn't going to stay, and besides, i don't game, so i didn't bring it.  i never before thought of gaming as a unique subculture, but i do now after walking in there.  the appeal of it all eludes me still, but whatever; to each his own, i guess.

it was strange being at jon and jamie's wedding.  i mean, jon is still in high school!  granted, he's doing PSEO, but still, it's odd.

i am positive now that the whole baby cloning thing is a hoax, as the media is now reporting that no DNA sample has been taken, and everyone involved is reluctant to do so.  just wait, this whole scam is about to be fully unraveled . . .

sigh
2:48 PM 1/2/2003

but you gotta give in
and you gotta let go
then you can begin
to come up slow
like a desert rose

i wish that i was better able to show my affection for people.  when it comes to touching, well, i never initiate anything.  even if i want a hug, if they don't reach out first, neither will i.  i don't know why i'm like that.  i sincerely wish i wasn't.  i think it all comes down to being scared.  scared of what, i'm not 100% sure.  being rejected, maybe?  i don't know.  whatever it is, it's illogical.  i hate being illogical; i've always thought of myself as logical.  all this is going to change.  perhaps today?

happy new year and all that jazz
2:11 PM 1/1/2003

yay for working on january first.  i'd bet anything that josh and angie aren't working tonight; they probably got too smashed last night and are horribly hung-over today.  ah well, so long as i don't have to work with ben.  i just can't handle him.  he's slow, and i realize that isn't his fault, but still!  it's hard for me to deal with him.  i blush easily, and i think people like to have fun with that.  when travis left one night, ben leaned over to me and said, "was that your boyfriend?"  "yes, ben, yes it was."  "why didn't you kiss him?" because obviously i was going to kiss him in the store?  right...  ditto with rhonda:  "so what do you two do on dates?  make-out?"  what is the matter with my coworkers?  bah!

back to archives